The Good The Bad And The Smelly

Hello World,

I have recently been employed at a very special work place.
It is a small art and jewelry gallery in Israel, right next door to a boutique olive oil press. The location is stunning in its beauty and calmness, the people are all smiley and very loving - so I thought!
I decided to write this blog about my surreal life in this unique working "Cucu" place. We are currently seven co-workers. One of which is actually a customer living in the NYC who keeps thinking she is the manager - and in deed we treat her at times like that - we don't have much choice. Another is an annoying street cat that calls our gallery "home".
This blog is about me, the employees and most of all the customers and their stories.
To justify myself from not getting fired I might add some products at the end of each story.

Peeing Myself

There is a famous saying in Yiddish "A pish un a fortz iz vi a khasene un a klezmer!" In other words - A pee without a fart, is like a wedding without a band!
A couple of days ago, we had a middle aged lady walking in the doors. She was looking for nice artefacts to decorate her home with - just another customer. So I put my sales hut on and went to show her around. We discussed the artists and their art in the gallery and it all seemed very nice except that something smelled fishy about this lady. Every 2-3 minutes there was a slow release of excess air into the atmosphere.
I thought to myself that here was a scientific proof that women do fart - but of course I acted like I never heard or smelled anything. On the other side of the gallery I could see Gabriella my co-worker starting to lights incense - very soon the place looked like a Buddhist temple.

We spoke more... and then she told me something that happened to her just the other week.
Apparently this lady suffers from chronic flatulence (I personally know of some people who I suspect suffer from the same sickness).
Last week she went to have an MRI Scan. She had to stay silent for some 35 minutes - or else they will have to do the whole thing again.

So she did. For some 30 minutes she lay there. Although every while and again a voice from the heaven was telling her to "hold still" -  she did well. But than it happened, a fart sneaked out - the confined space caused the sound to be amplified and to her it sounded like it was World War 3 breaking out with a row. Immediately 'the voice' told her to "keep calm!"

First she was embarrassed wishing this machine had a hatch she could close and sink it deep in the ocean. Than an uncontrollable laughter caught her. She could imagine the faces of all the technicians analyzing her fart signals.
At this point of her story I could not hold my self and let out myself a big fart (is it a virus?).
We were standing there laughing our ass off - literally.

The story had a good ending - apparently enough images were taken that she did not need to retake it again.
Needless to say we gave her a 10% discount.

When she left we all had to catch our breath!

Here are some similar vases that the lady purchased.

No comments:

Popular Posts